The Truth About Finding Your Tribe

Hey busy bees!

If you're anything like me, the word "tribe" is all over social media, and you're wondering why it's really taken off.

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Who's heard it?

Today I'm going to be talking about the buzz word, "tribe" and share another one of my biggest takeaways at the Ignite Your Soul Summit I attended at the end of last month.

Lori Harder, author of Find Your Bliss, talked to us about the power of female friendships and finding your tribe. If I'm being perfectly honest, I thought tribe just meant a group of friends and I didn't get what all the fuss was about.

After learning about what a tribe really is, my perspective has changed completely.

Now I'm ready to share it with you!

The first thing that jumped out at me is the fact that

we so easily write our friends off when they do something we don't like.

Who's guilty?

I am.

Lori said that so many times we just want to "check off all the boxes" and have this mindset that a friend has to have certain things.


For example, some qualities I tend to look for in a friend are women who are:

fun,

kind,

energetic,

drinks wine,

likes to read,

watches reality TV or netflix shows,

likes to travel,

has a significant other to hang out with me and Ross,

is trust-worthy,

cares about me,

shows up to events/parties/celebrations,

is an active participant in my life,

encourages me,

supportive,

driven, etc. 


The truth is, we all have these "lists" in our head of what a good friend looks like,

but no one is perfect. 

People are going to mess up and not fit in one of your boxes.

And what happens? It's easy to write people off. 

Here's the game changer. Lori said, 

No one can be everything to you.

Not your husband, not your best friend, not your awesome new co-worker.

No one.

The truth is, you have to create a tribe of women, and foster meaningful relationships.  

The key is that each woman, each friendship, offers different, positive things to your life.

Maybe you have a friend you can talk all things business with.

Maybe you have a friend who you teach with.

Maybe you have a friend with awesome style who you like to go shopping with. 

Maybe you have a friend who is well-traveled, and you like to go away with them.

Or maybe you have a childhood friend, who gets your family dynamics. 

Collect people.

Not in a bad way- What I mean is, 

Find the best parts of people and

treasure their friendship for that reason alone.

Another huge takeaway for me was that at different parts in our life,

we will lean on certain members of our tribe more than others.

The reason is that we have to borrow the beliefs of others, when we don't see it for ourselves.

For example, Lori said that when she was writing her book, she leaned on members of her tribe who had done it before her, so they could support her and cheer her on. She had other friends and family members who didn't get why she wanted to write a book, but it didn't mean she loved them any less.

At certain parts of our life, we are going to plug into women in our tribe more than others.

And that's okay.

The last thing I'll share is just that so many times, the word tribe can be intimidating because we might be at a point in our lives where we just don't have the meaningful relationships and friendships we desire. 

If that's you, know you're not alone. You have the power to call in your friendships and your tribe.

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To start:

  • make a list of qualities you'd like in friends
  • think about all the different facets of your life, and what kind of friend you'd like to support you in those areas
  • ask yourself what kind of friend you are, and how you treat the women around you
  • remember to just extend love, and eliminate any judgmental words about friends when they don't show up for you the way you want to
  • eliminate expectations and just know that everyone is doing the best they can. 
  • attend networking events, attend live events/workshops and have an open heart. Your people are coming. 

I hope you found these tips helpful! Feel free to share with a member of your tribe and thank her for all she does for you!

Check out Lori Harder's book, A Tribe Called Bliss!

xo,

Danise

 

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