Your Identity Map Story

Hi busy bees!

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Yesterday I was at a literacy leadership meeting and the literacy team started us off with an activity I’ve done several times throughout my personal growth and development journey. It’s always a great feeling when my career as a reading specialist and literacy coach ties in with my coaching business.

The team shared that we would be making identity maps.

Identity maps are a great activity to do with students to tie in social-emotional learning, but is also a powerful personal growth activity!

Identity maps allow you to map out important event’s in your life; some that you may not have thought of in quite some time. We are quick to block out aspects of our past that are painful, but it can be eye-opening to see how your pain launched you into something better and made you a stronger version of yourself.

Each time I do an identity map, I think about what has each brought me to where I am today.

They shared some amazing examples ranging from an identity road map from birth to present. Think of a road going across the paper, and simple graphics/words/illustrations mapping out important events in your life.

Another example I loved was a a glacier with traits that people see on the outside, and traits that no one sees below the surface. The outside traits go on top of the iceberg, and the deeper ones were written below the surface of the water.

Yesterday, I chose to do the identity road map.

The activity reminded me of how fun and empowering it can be to look back on where we’ve been and feel empowered to keep moving forward.

I’m telling you this because as a life coach and designer, my passion is helping women live intently, fulfill their dreams, and be productive in the things that truy matter.

Identity maps can be an amazing activity to pinpoint where you’ve been and where it is that you’re going. Now today, I’m going to share how to make one with you! I’ve created a simple template you can use to do this.

One of my favorite identity maps also came from Amber Lilyestrom’s Ignite Your Soul Summit event. The reason why this one in particular is so powerful is because she had us start from birth to present and identify the HIGHS and LOWS of our lives. The way we indicated this was by dotting the good/happy events ABOVE the line, and the hard times BELOW the line. This allowed us to truly “connect the dots” of our stories and honor every version of ourselves.

The beautiful thing about this map was that after every low, there was a rise.

For my identity map, I invite you to think about ten high and low points in your life and how your story has lead you to where you are today.

After doing your identity map, think about the following questions:

  1. What are the top moments where you chose YOURSELF and your dreams?

  2. What were your biggest lessons learned during the low points?

  3. What are some high points that came after the low ones?

  4. Where are you ready to go next in your life or business?

  5. What fears keep holding you back?

  6. What are you ready to receive and call into your life next?

Ready to dive in? Download the template here and complete it by Sunday evening for a chance to win a $5.00 Starbucks gift card!

All you have to do is complete it and tag me over at @busybeecoach on instagram or @busybeeproductivityco on Facebook. Share on your story or feed for a chance to win! If you tag a friend who might like this activity as well, double your chances of winning!

It’s been an honor to touch base and share with you today! If you’re ready to invest in yourself and your own personal development journey, email me today for 50% ANY of my one to one coaching packages.

This is a huge deal that I’ve never offered before. I’m ready to partner with women craving positive change, and who want to end 2018 the best way possible.

Working with a coaching, joining a group coaching program, attending live events and doing these activities have made me a better, stronger version of myself. Are you ready?

Contact me here!

xo,
Danise

How Do I Start Working on Myself?

Hi busy bees,

I'm coming to you from my family's vacation house in North Topsail Beach, North Carolina! We are here for the week for a family vacation, and it's been just what the doctor ordered. 

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It's been a "different" Summer for me, for sure! If you missed my announcement, my husband and I are expecting our first baby in February! We are so thrilled and excited. At the beginning of the Summer, I had absolutely NO energy and slept pretty much all day. It was really weird for this busy bee to be so worn out, but I just embraced it and am finally feeling better now that we're in the second trimester! I'll have to write a blog post about my pregnancy another time!

 Photo by Remy Thompson Photography

Photo by Remy Thompson Photography

Anyway, after a few long walks on the beach, I've been feeling really inspired to connect with you guys and answer a question that has been resonating in my coaching sessions and conversations with friends. 

The question of: How do I start working on myself? 

I went to the Made for More Movie by Rachel Hollis with my friend Faith and the theatre was PACKED with women. It reminded me of WHY I do what I do. This inner work and these conversations MATTER. The thing I hear over and over is, I see women talking about personal growth, but how do I start working on myself?

If you're anything like me, I like ACTUAL steps that I can implement into my life. Forget the fluff stuff; I want to REALLY know how to make a change.

If that describes you too, this blog post is for you! Are you ready to make a change? Let's dive in.

1. Pinpoint an area of growth. 

Grab a journal or find a quiet space. Think about your life and ask yourself what you need more of. What doesn't feel right? What are some things you'd like to change?

So many people think personal growth is for women who want to start businesses. It's not true! No matter what YOUR life path is, or what your work in the world is, personal growth is key to fulfillment. 

Let's face it, no one is perfect. We ALL have things we want to get better at, change, and work on. So what are yours? These are your areas of growth. Now you can start thinking about how to build positive habits, set goals, and make changes around them. 

2. Get inspired.

Sorry if I'm a broken record guys, but the only way to make a change is to get inspired! 

My favorite ways to get inspired are:

  • attend a live event
  • find a self-help or personal growth book in your area of growth. Is it motherhood, your career, starting a business, or nutrition? Find your passion and plug into those who have gone before you.
  • listen to podcasts
  • work with a coach

3. Step outside your comfort zone and try new things.

This one goes with number two, but I can't stress this one enough. If you want to start working on yourself, you've got to try new things. The things we are most afraid of are the things that are going to push us to grow. What are some things you've been wanting to DO or TRY?

For me, it was finding a church. I talked about it and researched churches in Richmond for almost a year before I had the guts to go try it out. It took me going to a live event to say OKAY, I'm really going to do this. But, I am so happy I did. 

Don't let fear hold you back. 

4. Set goals and make a plan.

Remember your areas of growth? Set goals and create an action plan to make the changes you're craving. If your goal is to buy your first home, work backwards and make a plan. If your goal is to finally launch a business, again, work backwards and plan out the steps that need to happen! 

5. Prioritize your time. 

How many times do we say we want to do something, but say we don't have time? This is something I work with my client's on, ALL THE TIME! 

The thing I suggest most is scheduling time into your week to work on your goals, and complete the above steps. Maybe it's Sunday morning or evening. Maybe it's getting up an hour earlier before work. 

You've got to make time for YOU. It's not easy, but once you start carving out the time for yourself, you will see the benefits! 

6. Never stop growing and self-reflecting.

This one also goes with number 5. After you've set goals, made a plan, and scheduled the time to make it happen, don't forget to keep self-evaluating. 

Ask yourself, how am I doing with my goals? Did I accomplish what I said I would? 

Is this still a goal I truly desire, or is there something better for me that's come along?

And of course, once you've achieved your goals, it's time to set new ones! We are never perfect and our work is never done. 

And that's it! 

As always, if you found this blog post helpful, I'd love for you to share with your friends or someone else who might want to see this!

I am scheduling coaching clients for the Fall, so if you'd like some one to one support and accountability to FINALLY make some positive changes, you can email me here. I offer free consultations and have coaching packages to fit any budget. How are you investing in yourself and your personal growth?

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Thanks for being here!

xo,
Danise

How Saying No Can Change Your Life

Hey Busy Bees! I'm so excited to dive into this topic today! I made a poll over on my instagram about what you'd most like to hear about and the overwhelming vote was how to start saying no! 

Why is it so hard for so many of us to say no to things we really don't want to do?

If you're anything like me, it comes from a need to please others.

This is something I've worked on over time, and I've already begun to see the benefits. 

How can be purposeful, fulfilled and productive in the things that truly  matter if we are scattered in 10 million directions?

This idea was completely solidified in me when I read Essentialism by Greg McKeown! In the first few chapters, he talks about an essentialist mindset vs. a nonessentialist mindset. Essentialist prioritize and focus on what's truly important, and non essentialists try to do ALL the things. This diagram makes it really easy to see how we're spending our energy, and where it is going!

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Mckeown says that "only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter."

How many times do we feel completely spread thin and feel like we're not REALLY getting anything accomplished?

The key is being in touch with your mission and your unique work in the world, and prioritizing your time. How can you cut down on the extra fluff, or the things you don't really want to says yes to?

It starts by saying no.

Greg McKeown says that there are 3 steps to say no gracefully. The steps are:

Step 1: Affirm the relationship. e.g. “It really is good to hear from you.”

Step 2: Thank the person sincerely for the opportunity. e.g. Thank you ever so much for thinking of me! It sounds like such a brilliant project. I am complimented that you thought of me.”

Step 3: Decline firmly and politely. e.g.For several reasons I need to pass on this at the moment.

Source: https://gregmckeown.com/blog/how-to-say-no-gracefully/

Remember, if you don't prioritize how you spend your time, someone else will.

Whether it's your friends, your job, your business or your volunteer work, it's so important to prioritize what's important and stand in your power to say NO to things that don't serve you. 

The truth is, we can't do it all.

When we try to do it all, we feel stressed and overwhelmed. We feel unsatisfied and frustrated.

When we do less, we feel fulfilled and productive. Less is really MORE!

The last tip I'll share is to ask yourself the following question when you are about to make a commitment. That is, "Am I choosing to, or do I have to."

Of course we all have non-negotiable things like work that we have to do, but outside of that I invite you to think about the question. Are you saying yes because you don't like confrontation or hurting people's feelings? Or is it because you really want to invest your time in it?

Time is our most precious asset, so how are you spending it? 

How will you put this idea into practice this week? Your first no might not be easy, but it will get better over time!

I know you can do it!

xo,

Danise

 

 

Compassion over Reaction

Hey busy bees!

I'm excited to share this blog post with you guys this week. I think it'll hit home for many of you, and this is something I had to plug into and practice a lot this week.

I'm going to be talking about compassion over reaction.

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It's no secret that things don't always turn out the way we expect them to. That's life. But that doesn't mean it's not frustrating.

Shit happens.

You get into a car accident on your morning commute.

Your program launch for your business doesn't take off the way you've hoped.

You're not booking as many clients or getting customers this month.

You're finances are far from perfect.

People annoy you or do something to hurt you at work.

To dive in more to the friendship side of things-

How many times are we disappointed by the way others treat us?

We say things like "I'd never do that" or "I can't believe they would think that's okay." 

That's where the idea of compassion over reaction comes into play. I shared a little behind the scenes of this over on my instagram story (@busybeecoach) and I got a lot of feedback from my followers! How can we turn off the reaction button, ie. anger, frustration, stress, expectation, etc. and choose compassion. Or choose love.

Our job is just to love people, and not to judge them.

Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves because we are guilty of judging others. So how could we not expect them to do the same to us?

Shannon Kaiser, in her book "Find Your Happy" she says, 

When we react, we block ourselves from receiving guidance and clear direction on how to move forward with grace and ease.

She says that our reactions are simply fear based thoughts, and we should reframe that way of thinking into one of compassion and love. 

It's no secret that people disappoint us. It happened to me this week. But when I found myself getting frustrated, I could literally hear Shannon Kaiser's words in my head and I thought about how I could change my perspective and come from a place of love and understanding. I thought about the other persons side, and tried not to take it personally. It wasn't easy, but I kept saying Shannon's mantra in my head and it TRULY helped me process my feelings and feel better about the situation. 

She says to ask yourself, "How can I see this situation with more love?"

Wondering how you can put this into action? Here's the mantra from Day 7 of her book, Find Your Happy:

 

I choose to see all situations with more compassion. I am responsible for my outcome and if there is a situation I don’t like, I can lessen the frustration by seeing the situation from a new perspective. I let love lead the way as I choose to perceive everything with more kindness...I no longer react to frustrating circumstances, instead, I choose to be more compassionate with myself and others.

Just, WOW! Right???

I hope you found these words powerful and helpful. I challenge you to be self-aware when you are reacting to circumstances out of your control and ask yourself the questions presented here today. How can I see this with more love?

I'm sending you lots of it!

I highly recommend Shannon's book. You can buy it on amazon here! 

Message me if you buy it so we can be accountability buddies!

xo,
Danise

To schedule your breakthrough call with me and take inspired action towards your goals, click here!

The Truth About Finding Your Tribe

Hey busy bees!

If you're anything like me, the word "tribe" is all over social media, and you're wondering why it's really taken off.

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Who's heard it?

Today I'm going to be talking about the buzz word, "tribe" and share another one of my biggest takeaways at the Ignite Your Soul Summit I attended at the end of last month.

Lori Harder, author of Find Your Bliss, talked to us about the power of female friendships and finding your tribe. If I'm being perfectly honest, I thought tribe just meant a group of friends and I didn't get what all the fuss was about.

After learning about what a tribe really is, my perspective has changed completely.

Now I'm ready to share it with you!

The first thing that jumped out at me is the fact that

we so easily write our friends off when they do something we don't like.

Who's guilty?

I am.

Lori said that so many times we just want to "check off all the boxes" and have this mindset that a friend has to have certain things.


For example, some qualities I tend to look for in a friend are women who are:

fun,

kind,

energetic,

drinks wine,

likes to read,

watches reality TV or netflix shows,

likes to travel,

has a significant other to hang out with me and Ross,

is trust-worthy,

cares about me,

shows up to events/parties/celebrations,

is an active participant in my life,

encourages me,

supportive,

driven, etc. 


The truth is, we all have these "lists" in our head of what a good friend looks like,

but no one is perfect. 

People are going to mess up and not fit in one of your boxes.

And what happens? It's easy to write people off. 

Here's the game changer. Lori said, 

No one can be everything to you.

Not your husband, not your best friend, not your awesome new co-worker.

No one.

The truth is, you have to create a tribe of women, and foster meaningful relationships.  

The key is that each woman, each friendship, offers different, positive things to your life.

Maybe you have a friend you can talk all things business with.

Maybe you have a friend who you teach with.

Maybe you have a friend with awesome style who you like to go shopping with. 

Maybe you have a friend who is well-traveled, and you like to go away with them.

Or maybe you have a childhood friend, who gets your family dynamics. 

Collect people.

Not in a bad way- What I mean is, 

Find the best parts of people and

treasure their friendship for that reason alone.

Another huge takeaway for me was that at different parts in our life,

we will lean on certain members of our tribe more than others.

The reason is that we have to borrow the beliefs of others, when we don't see it for ourselves.

For example, Lori said that when she was writing her book, she leaned on members of her tribe who had done it before her, so they could support her and cheer her on. She had other friends and family members who didn't get why she wanted to write a book, but it didn't mean she loved them any less.

At certain parts of our life, we are going to plug into women in our tribe more than others.

And that's okay.

The last thing I'll share is just that so many times, the word tribe can be intimidating because we might be at a point in our lives where we just don't have the meaningful relationships and friendships we desire. 

If that's you, know you're not alone. You have the power to call in your friendships and your tribe.

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To start:

  • make a list of qualities you'd like in friends
  • think about all the different facets of your life, and what kind of friend you'd like to support you in those areas
  • ask yourself what kind of friend you are, and how you treat the women around you
  • remember to just extend love, and eliminate any judgmental words about friends when they don't show up for you the way you want to
  • eliminate expectations and just know that everyone is doing the best they can. 
  • attend networking events, attend live events/workshops and have an open heart. Your people are coming. 

I hope you found these tips helpful! Feel free to share with a member of your tribe and thank her for all she does for you!

Check out Lori Harder's book, A Tribe Called Bliss!

xo,

Danise

 

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Choose Your Calling Over Comfort

Hey busy bees!

I am so excited to be sharing some takeaways from the Ignite Your Soul Summit weekend I attended in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. At the start of 2018, I made the goal of attending at least ONE live event, as I continue to grow and be the best coach I can be for my clients.

The event was life-changing, there are truly no words to describe the impact each speaker had on me, and the room of 200+ women I got to connect with.

The summit was two days long; We talked about all things business, money mindset, strong female relationships, forgiveness, spirituality, and our past.

More importantly, we were open and had a safe container to be our truest selves, without fear of judgement.

We laughed, we cried, we shared stories, and one of the funnest parts- we danced!

When was the last time you danced in a room full of strangers without worrying what anyone thought of you?

When was the last time you did some powerful inner work and took a giant leap outside your comfort zone?

When was the last time you invested in yourself and got “in the room” with people you admire and want to work with?

I can see the changes adding up already, because I decided to show up for myself, and for my clients.

How can I coach my clients if I’m not doing the inner-work myself?

Since the summit, I have created a more positive morning routine. I get ready, make some coffee, pack my lunch, and settle on my reading chair for some time to read and reflect before my day.

Since the summit, I went to church for the first time in probably 5+ years.

Since the summit, I’ve started making better eating choices, because I want my positive inner-work to show on the outside. I’m ready to be the best version of myself.

And because I’ve been doing the work myself, I’m ready to share some of my biggest takeaways with my tribe.

Today I’m going to be talking about attracting energy into your work.

 

Passion energy

Before we start, I’d like to ask you some questions to ponder:

  1. When it comes to your life and business, are you taking the time for yourself?

  2. How are you drawing energy into your life?

  3. Do you plug into your big vision, or goals daily?

  4. Do you have a morning or afternoon routine that keeps you motivated and lets you tap into your true needs?

If the answer is no, I’ve got you covered.

We can’t be productive or energized if we are feeling stagnant.

We cannot live a purposeful life if we are living in a cycle of fear and comfort.

As my pastor Josh Whitlow said in church on Sunday,

Your calling will cost you your comfort.

 

We need the energy and motivation to step out of our comfort zone and step into who we are meant to be.

Calling over Comfort

Here are some ways you can energize areas of your life that have been stagnant, and make the changes you’ve been craving:

1. Prioritize time for yourself and set it as non-negotiable time. Don’t let this thought overwhelm you, start small! Carve out 15-30 minutes, and remember to start small. Small changes lead to a radical difference.  Prioritize this time as a devotion to yourself and your work.

2. Decide how you want to spend this time. What do you love to do? Maybe you want to start meditating, writing, journaling, reading self-help books, or taking a long walk. Reflect on what will make your heart happy!

3. Feel energized by moving your body daily. Energy breeds more energy, so how are you getting out into the world and getting active?

4. Literally, get in the room with people who inspire you and have energy that you admire. Attend a live event, find a coach, listen to podcasts, go to a networking event or join a mastermind.  I can’t tell you how much the summit renewed my energy and motivated me to keep doing what I’m doing.   Borrow the beliefs from others that have gone before you and take steps forward! 

Energy

I'm ready to do this thing and partner with you, as you take massive action and re-energize areas of your life! The beauty of this message is that it applies to our businesses, work, marriages, friendships, anything!

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If you enjoyed this blog post, click here to download your free productivity guide, and have your most productive week ever!

As always, if you found this blog post helpful, I'd love to hear from you! 

Xo,

Danise